Wednesday, April 18, 2012

I Think I'm Ready to Blog Again.....'s been almost 6 months since I blogged!?!?!? What?!?!?! Whoa!!!!

 It's not that I haven't thot about it. I'm sure I could've found something to share, but the energy to do it wasn't there. I haven't even really taken any pictures in that time, either!  I think part of it was due to being busy, part of it because of time, but mostly? I think I was grieving Cady.

Yes, I know....she was just a dog, but, to me, she wasn't. She was a part of my family and her passing left a big hole. A reaaaally big hole. It was six months ago yesterday and yes, I had a good cry at least twice yesterday. I still miss her and keep expecting her from to come jump on the bed while I'm on the computer, so I could rub her belly. I came across this pic yesterday and it's one of my faves, cuz it's exactly how she would sit and look up at me when I was on the couch....and usually had food that she wanted me to share with her! "Where's mine, Mom?"

I've been to the animal shelter nearby at least three times since she died and I have yet to come home with a dog. Right now, I am being practical and paying bills is more of a priority for me than spending money to adopt another dog. I've thought about this alot over the past months and I do want to adopt or rescue another dog like I did Cady. That takes $$ that I don't have right now, so I am saving that up, but being practical is really more of a priority.

I do check out a "free dog" link frequently as well. So far, nothing really grabs me. I find myself wondering about people who are wanting to give up their animals that they claim to love just because they don't have time for them. It's a real commitment to have a pet of any kind - you have to be willing to make the time to take the time to play and be with that pet. Maybe another reason I'm not rushing right into things is that I have been working alot and have taken on a 2nd part time job - or it's an excuse I am telling myself to avoid committing myself to another dog.

But I think it's more that I want the right dog at the right time. I love dogs. Their companionship, their unwavering love for you, their excitement to see you...yeah, I miss that! But I am also finding overe these last 6 months, that even without a pet here, I am still not alone. God has been faithful and I am ever reminded that He fully knows what I have need of and continually supplies what I need...when I need it. He is so good that way!

I have to be honest.....I have yet to go through Cady's things out in the living room closet and take them to the shed. Part of me doesn't want to take them to the shed, a logical place to take packed up things to. I dread the idea of going thru dog snacks, even tho I know I could donate stuff to the local shelter. Part of it is, well, what if I get another dog soon? Then I would have wasted all that energy. Gee, I am full of the excuses, aren't I?! But I think it's something I need to do before bringing another pet into my home, not that I want to erase or get rid of any reminders of Cady. I think it's more that she was/is a link for me to my time in GA. And the friends I made there and that chapter of my life.

I made some wonderful, wonderful friendships there and I miss those people something fierce some days. I have absolutely no regrets about following God's leading and moving to GA and living there for 10 years. And I don't regret moving back to PA. I do miss the people who touched my life.....wish they lived closer!

But I also know that God would not have me to live in the past, but to deal with and live today. And that is what continues to spur me on. Trusting Him with today. Taking it one day at a time. Not dwelling in the past, not fretting about the future, but living life today. And today looks very good because He is in it. He will provide, He will watch over me, and He will love me right where I'm at.

And in so many ways, I am blessed - beyond measure!!